Happiness is a Journey, Not a Destination

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. But there was always something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination...

                                                                               ~~Souza

I will admit that 2013 was a very rough year, and 2014 is fairly challenging thus far, but I am not complaining. I know it is hard for so many of you to even understand what we are going through. I am pretty much incognito unless I have an appointment that I need to go to. I have a migraine nearly every day. I have forced myself to keep pushing forward and do the best I can with this chronic migraine life. I have learned these things thus far:

1. Don't live in my "what if" life all the time. I have the tendency to over analyze everything and see things from various perspectives. I am working on it, but I know I am far from perfection on this one.
2. Don't stress about the things that I can't control, like when another horrific episode is going to occur. I am the only one that can control how I handle my reactions and I am the only one that can control my emotions. Again, a work in progress
3. Don't put yourself down all the time. My therapist told me to look in the mirror everyday and say: "I am a beautiful person". I have a hard time with this one because I lack self-esteem and I don't think highly of myself. This might take a while, so don't expect any miracles.
4. I suffer from anxiety, and I have bad anxiety when I am at a large gathering with people I know. I get so self-conscious, yes, even with people whom I know very well. It is easier for me to go to a function where I don't know many people, I can sneak out without anybody really noticing. I have learned that when I feel myself going into a panic attack mode, I need to remove myself  from the excitement . So i will go in another room and listen to my music. I will try to calm myself without causing a scene.
5. I do not have to have an OCD, perfect home. Cleaning house is not a high priority, plus I am usually all alone during the day. I am proud of myself if I get one load of laundry done and still have enough energy to complete a small task.
6. Don't take life granted. I know that is a cliche', but it is so essential to enjoy the little things. When I am having a great day, I choose to spend the time with my family. I don't want them growing up and looking back on their lives and thinking I was a bad Mom and that I was never there for them. My mom is a great example to me. She worked three jobs, yet she was always there when we heeded most
7. Time spent with my family and my bestie is the . I have felt horrendious gas . Guess  i will post more tomorrow.My brain is aeep.